jacks.jukebox

“Sometimes your value isn’t seen until your absence is felt.”

Rejoice – jacks.jukebox is back.

We return with a brand new series to dig your teeth into. Welcome to ‘The Roundup’.

It’s pretty self-explanatory, we are here to talk about what’s happening in the music world, a quick little round up of the news of the week or the month or however often we end up doing this.

I say ‘we’ as I want to see you get involved with the convo. Follow us on Insta and be a part of the discussion. You might agree with what I say, or you might hate it, either way I want to hear from you.

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Call the police – The Gallaghers are back together !

Let’s begin with the biggest piece of news to break during our absence.

15 year-old me wanted only 2 things in this world. CM Punk to return to wrestling, and Oasis to get back together. He’s a very happy kid right now.

I’ll tell you who’s not happy though… my bank account. That’s right, jacks.jukebox will be represented at Oasis ’25. Wembley Stadium, £200, to f’ing sit down.

After waiting in the queue for 3 hours we finally got through. “GET IN” I shouted as that 15 year-old kid found its way back out. But the excitement quickly dimmed. Only a few tickets remain. The most expensive SEATS in the house. £212 each. We could’ve been sensible, we could’ve just waited for the inevitable re-sale next year, but fuck that… it’s Oasis.

*If anybody out there is interested in swapping 3 standing tickets for the BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE then please do get in touch.*

I could sit here and chat about all the questions surrounding the reunion. Is Noel just wanting to cash in after his divorce? Will Liam’s voice be able to manage the whole tour? Will the whole tour even happen?? But every tom, dick and harry has talked about that in the last month. Unfortunately, my name is neither tom, dick nor harry so I will not be getting involved.

All I will say is this – Am I excited? Definitely… maybe.

Chappell Roan HATES you !

Moving from a champagne supernova in the sky, to a glass of red wine supernova.

Believe it or not, Oasis to Chappell Roan is actually a pretty good segue. Comparing the Oasis mammoth, “Champagne Supernova”, with her very own “Red Wine Supernova”, the drag queen diva once stated, “it’s like the gay girl version – Lesbian Oasis.”

And I think it’s fair to say she has a similar ‘no fucks given’ attitude to the Gallagher brothers. You know, that attitude which has made them so polarising for decades.

She made headlines recently with her views towards fan culture.

“If you saw a random woman on the street, would you yell at her from your car window? Would you harass her in public? I’m a random bitch. You’re a random bitch, just think about it.”

Hell yeah. I couldn’t word it better myself (well I mean she’s not just any ‘random bitch’, but i agree with the sentiment).

She went on to say how she’s well aware that it’s normalised for celebs to be treated this way, but that doesn’t excuse it for being plainly weird.

The fact of the matter is, the majority of fans of these pop superstars just are weird losers. It’s just a fact.

I really do like Chappell Roans music, but I would never be tempted to buy a ticket to one of their gigs.

Surrounded by these people whose best friend is the poster of Taylor Swift on their bedroom wall. I don’t think so. Get a life pal.

*You might be wondering right now why I’m only slagging off fans of female pop stars, “a tad sexist of you isn’t it?” Fair point. But the fact of the matter is there are no male pop stars to slag off. The girls are just doing it so much better. If Robbie Williams suddenly has a comeback reminiscent of Istanbul 2005 his fans would be just as annoying, and i’d be the first to slag them off, don’t you worry.*

Okay, I’m being slightly facetious, and I may be generalising a tad. But the point stands. The way some people fantasise over celebrities is, and always has been, so so weird. Whether it’s thousands of kids gathering to catch a glimpse of their favourite Twitch streamer, or a fully grown man holding up a sign at a football match saying, “Mo Salah, pleaseeee can I have your shirt??” Get a life pal.

If I was to walk past a celeb on the street, a little nod will suffice. And that’s only reserved for the few good ones out there, such as Matt Berry or David Mitchell. They’d get a nod. I think I’d probably take the message and keep my distance from Chappell Roan, wouldn’t wanna end up with a shiner would we.

*Quick tangent – I once walked past former Everton and Turkey centre forward, Cenk Tosun, coming out of a barbers down Bold Street in Liverpool. As a Liverpool fan, I made sure to give him a very subtle little shoulder barge. A year later he no longer played for Everton… I’ll let you connect the dots.*

Brat Summer is dead – Long live Brat Summer ?

The other ‘party-pop queen’ of 2024 is obviously Charli XCX.

I’ll start with a quick disclaimer. I’ve always liked Charli’s music, it’s decent. You can sense the but coming can’t you.

I really don’t wanna be that guy having a go at the newest trend, BUT (there you go) I’m gonna do it anyway.

Bookmark this – give it 6 months, the new discourse will be, “omg is it time to talk about how brat wasn’t actually that good of an album?? :0”

The marketing was great, the whole weirdly off-putting shade of green and extremely basic fonts. Kudos to her team. The album itself? Well it was okay. Not great, not terrible, just an okay album.

Chappell Roans album was 10x better, let’s be honest. And does ‘brat’ really need a deluxe version? And does that deluxe version really have to be called this – “brat and it’s the same but there’s three more songs so it’s not.”

Whatever happened to the idea of less is more? Let ‘brat summer’ have its 15 minutes, disappear for a year or two, make the people miss you, then come back with a darker, more sinister persona. Welcome to ‘Imp Winter’.

That’s probably why her marketing team gets paid the big bucks and I’m here… slagging them off… for no bucks.

What’s been spinning in the Jukebox?

I feel like this first entry into ‘The Roundup’ has had a negative undertone running through it. I don’t like that. So let’s end on a positive note.

Let’s highlight some new tunes that have caught my eye in the last month or so.

Firstly there’s Geordie Greep’s new single as he launches his solo career. The former Black Midi front man has evolved his sound with the use of subtle New York City Jazz vibes mixed in with the ecentricity we got so used to hearing with Black Midi. Check out ‘Holy, Holy’, the first single from his upcoming debut album, ‘The New Sound’

Sticking with the chilled-out, sat in a jazz bar in New York City vibes, ‘Illusions’ by ‘Jalen Ngonda’ is my other recommendation. A tune that wouldn’t feel out of place on the ‘Roy Ayers Ubiquity’ classic EP, ‘Everybody Loves The Sunshine’. I feel like that’s the highest possible praise I can give it. Check it out.

Anyway, like I said, get involved with the discussion over on the jacks.jukebox Insta page. We’re back, and we’re better than ever (literally the same).

Are you excited for the Oasis reunion? Will it end in disaster? Is Chappell Roan right to hate her fans? Was ‘brat’ just an overrated, over-marketed, average album?

I look forward to hearing from you – until next time, peace.